


Where do we go (now that they're gone)

by I_writewhatiwant



Series: You're my best friend [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 15:13:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18967801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_writewhatiwant/pseuds/I_writewhatiwant
Summary: On day 23, news say Stark Industries and the Avengers have announced the return of Tony Stark to Earth.She calls Peter, sends him texts, calls May.No one answers and she’s left in the dark once again.





	Where do we go (now that they're gone)

**Ned**

 

Ned(4:58pm)

Have you heard from peter?(4:58pm)

He won’t answer(4:58pm)

 

He saw the ship(4:59pm)

Probably followed Mr. Stark(4:59pm)

 

Fuck(4:59pm)

Thanks Ned(5:00pm)

Take care(5:00pm)

 

You too(5:02pm)

 

* * *

 

They call it the decimation. 50% of the population, wiped off.

 

The government is a mess, at first, trying to get things under control. There are accidents of all kinds. Planes going down without their pilots, cars crashing when the person at the wheel turns into dust. There are children left alone, parentless because of this…incident. The news speak of anarchy in countries where their leaders are gone, places in scrambles trying to get things back to normal, but there is so little information it’s no wonder people are demanding it in all the ways they know how.

 

The first night, Juliana doesn’t sleep. There is something terrifying in not knowing what the fuck is happening. She had heard Juaco screaming, yelling for her and their mother. She had gone to him, grabbed him by his upper arms and tried to get him to listen, yelling for their mother. She was so sure she was on her bedroom as Gustavo, Juaco and their father had been on the living room, deciding to house the employee until they knew it was safe to go out.

 

When Juaco finally could speak again, she had to see their ashes for herself before believing him. They don’t understand, not really, and she lunged for her phone, hoping that maybe, maybe Peter would know, that maybe Mr. Stark had some answers.

 

Peter never answers.

 

She feeds Dani that evening, not even asking if Juaco is hungry because she knows he’s not. He’s been texting his friends nonstop, trying to see who’s…who’s left, Murph on his lap as he tried to calm himself down with his purring. Dani doesn’t understand what is happening, and Juliana has to hush her when mom doesn’t come to aid with her cries.

 

* * *

 

Frank is gone, too, as is his husband.

 

There is no one to open the shop left. Juliana locks it down, activates the alarm and doesn’t set foot on it again.

 

* * *

 

 The Avengers have released information by day three, and whoever this alien Thanos is, he’s a real son of a bitch. Half of the universe, gone in a second.

 

She knows they have lost people too, Mr. Stark absent from their ranks, but as she watches the TV, she feels hatred for the Avengers.

 

Couldn’t they be Saviors? Must they _avenge_?

 

* * *

 

Ned is gone too.

 

It takes a few calls before his mother answers, chocked up, and tells her her son is gone. She doesn’t understand much more than Juliana does, and she cries too.

 

* * *

 

She visits Aunt May on day three. She has Dani on her hip, Juaco only half a step behind. They can’t break apart, not after losing both their parents so suddenly and so uncertainly, and she finds herself reaching for him as they walk, her hand grasping his with enough force to break.

 

She hesitates a second before the door, taking calming deep breaths as she feels Dani hiding behind her hair. She’s been too quiet, like she knows something is wrong. She had called for their parents the night before, and Juliana had cried when she had tried to calm her down.

 

She knocks and waits a few seconds, losing a little hope when she doesn’t hear anything. She thinks that yeah, it’s actually reasonable if May is not there. Maybe hospitals are collapsing, maybe they need all hands on deck.

 

She’s turning to tell her brother that maybe they should just go back home when the door is opened with a little more force than necessary.

 

May’s a mess. Her eyes are rimmed red, her hair dull as it falls around her face, so long it tangles into itself.

 

“Juliana” May says, passing her hand under her eyes “Come in. Are these your siblings?”

 

“Hello, Miss May” she answers, coming inside and letting Dani down. The toddler hides herself behind her leg, gripping the leg of her skinny jeans the best she can “I…do you know anything?”

 

“Happy called, the day after” May closes the door, putting one hand on her collarbone and gripping that wrist with the other “He said…he said Stark went out there. That this-this suit he made for Peter had been activated, that they were probably…somewhere up there” May chokes, and Juliana launches herself forward when she sees her legs may fail her.

 

“That means there is a chance they can come back” she whispers, passing her arm around May’s back and leading her back towards the sofa. She sees Juaco turn towards the kitchen, Dani following him, and hopes he will make some tea.

 

“But what if-what if Peter is part of that 50%? Juliana, I-”

 

“We can’t think like that, Miss May. And if he was, I guess we’ll have to…to trust the Avengers to do something” she feels her eyes fill with tears, the sound of her parents’ laughter in the back of her mind.

 

May looks at her, heartbroken, and Juliana knows she’s thinking the same as her.

 

What will make that time any different than this one?

 

 

* * *

 

The sky is forever gray now. Or maybe not forever, but for the days after whatever it is that happened, happened, the sky is gray with the ashes of those that were lost to the wind.

 

It’s not pretty, it’s not natural and actually rather sick.

 

She actually gets sick, right there in the middle of the street while Juaco holds Dani at the same time he rubs her back, the moment she realizes it’s ashes blocking the sunlight.

 

 

* * *

 

She starts a fight to get custody of her siblings, and a job on the weekends that is barely enough to meet ends in an office that had lost many, _many_ of their workers and were desperate for someone to help them. Their savings won’t last until the end of the month.

 

* * *

 

On day 23, news say Stark Industries and the Avengers have announced the return of Tony Stark to Earth.

 

She calls Peter, sends him texts, calls May.

 

No one answers and she’s left in the dark once again.

 

* * *

 

After 25 days, someone knocks on the door. Classes are still cancelled but resuming next Monday bright and early, and she’s looking for daycares for Dani for when the day comes. By now, she knows that more than half her class is _gone_.

 

Everyone avoids saying dead. They’re gone, The Vanished. Not dead. Just gone.

 

When she opens the door, Tony Stark is on the other side. He’s thin, sickly so, and he’s leaning on a taller man, dressed on a suit.

 

“Mr. Stark” she says, blinking, hand still on the doorknob.

 

“Juliana, right? We met when-”

 

“You gave Peter the diploma from his internship. Yes, I remember. You can come in” she moves aside so they can come in, kicking aside one of Dani’s little trucks “I’m sorry for the mess, I just-I don’t know how Mom did it” she sees Mr. Stark wince as she follows them to the living room.

 

Dani is sitting down on the couch, pressing random buttons on the remote. The man helps Mr. Stark sit beside her before he turns to Juliana.

  
“I’m Happy…Hogan. Happy Hogan”

 

“Hello, Happy” she takes his offered hand and smiles “Peter told me about you. I’m sorry he was so annoying those first days” she winces, tries for a smile and then she turns her eyes to Mr. Stark, realizing what it means he’s here “Where is he, by the way? He was with you, right? Is he okay? Does Miss May know you both came-”

 

“I think you should sit down” Mr. Stark interrupts her, sitting up. She closes her eyes, knowing what is coming to her. She hears Dani drop the remote and her struggle to get down the couch. She hears her little feet pad towards her and then feels the pressure on her legs when Dani collides against her.

 

“Was it… was it the decimation?” she asks, feeling the tears build behind her eyes. She had held on hope, had believed that maybe it wouldn’t be him, that he would be part of that 50%...

 

“Yes. I’m sorry, kid, I’m so sorry”

 

“Did he…did he feel it?” she asks, opening her eyes to see Mr. Stark in the eyes. He looks crushed, like it pains him just as it does to her.

 

“No. It was painless” and she has to believe it, has to trust Mr. Stark that his spider senses didn’t make a difference between everyone else’s vanishing. She looks to Dani and puts back a little lock of hair that was falling into her eyes.

 

Juliana holds on for maybe three seconds before she lets out a wail, leaning forward and burying her face in her hands. Sobs wreck her as she breaks down, her shoulders shaking as she cries.

 

Her mother, her father, gone. And now, Peter…

 

She doesn’t hear Mr. Stark approach, but suddenly he’s hugging her to him, rubbing her back and saying sorry over and over again, calling her _kid_ as he rocks her. He’s warm and bony, unlike her father who was always so soft, but it still it brings her a sense of peace.

 

She asks if they’re going to do something about it, if they’re going to try to get everyone back.

 

Then Mr. Stark starts crying.

 

It takes them a little while before their breathing returns to normal and they’re no longer leaking any fluids from their face, and when they finally compose themselves, she asks about May.

 

“She was…mad. Cried at first, then she yelled. Then she cried some more. Said…a lot of things” Mr. Stark clears his throat, moving around his seat “All things I deserved, of course, but…she wasn’t doing all that good”

 

And, of course she wouldn’t. She had lost her husband not that long ago, and now she had lost Peter, who Juliana knew very well she loved like her own child. She had taken care of Peter for more than 10 years, and she was sure to lose a child hurt much more than to lose a parent, she couldn’t imagine her pain.

 

Just before he leaves, Mr. Stark puts his hands on her shoulders and looks at her in the eyes.

 

“If you need anything, _anything at all_ , call me”

 

“Okay” she says, not really thinking of doing it.  But then Dani is tugging on her leg, raising her arms towards her, and Juliana can only think of the letter that rests on their kitchen table, the neat black print telling her to present to court to defend herself on why she, a minor, should get custody of her siblings instead of being trusted to the system.

 

She’s desperate, and she think Mr. Stark notices it when she looks at him before speaking.

 

* * *

 

Classes start again, and three quarters of the teachers are new. For the first time, the rooms seem to fit the right number of students, and the teachers have enough time to answer everyone’s doubts.

 

She starts crying in the middle of the class the moment she thinks it’s kind of a good thing.

 

* * *

 

They lose five kids from the debate team and their teacher.

 

She realizes she can’t come back on the first reunion, when the circle they make is not half of what it was before.

 

* * *

 

She sells some of the machines from the store to make some money, and even considers renting the place.

 

She can’t bring herself to do it, and instead gets bigger padlocks.

 

Maybe one day.

 

* * *

 

Everyone is a mess at first. People cry when they turn around to say something to their best friends only to realize they’re not there. Kids are being pulled from school and into the system. Teachers have to leave the class when the smartass that always challenged what they said can’t say anything, because they’re gone.

 

Gone.

 

She’s so tired of it.

 

They’re dead. _Dead_ , not coming back, not on a trip. They’re dead and the Avengers already avenged them, and _nothing changed_. Their ashes are still around there, buried or gone with the wind and they’re not coming back.

 

And yet, she still loves them.

 

* * *

 

She wins the trial thanks to a lawyer Mr. Stark hires, after two months of hearings.

 

She goes home and kisses her siblings, and if they cry, it’s not bad. Juaco is taller than her now by an inch or two, and she fits under his arm now instead of the other way around.

 

Mr. Stark himself -and she just can’t call him Tony, not when Peter called him only Mr. Stark for so, so long- appears with snacks and cake and Pepper Potts on his arm to celebrate how they won’t be separated.

 

* * *

 

**Mr. Stark**

 

You okay kid?(11:36am)

 

Hanging on(11:40am)

 

Need anything?(11:45am)

 

Not really(11:46am)

Juaco’s cellphone battery is dying, though(11:46am)

I think(11:46am)

 

I’ll drop by(11:55am)

 

* * *

 

“You think I haven’t noticed?” she says one evening as Mr. Stark sits with her on the kitchen, fixing her laptop for the third time. She had refused to get another one, and this one is more spare parts than anything else, but it’s _hers_ , and Mr. Stark says since it is a Stark one, so it’ll get the Tony Stark maintenance it needs.

 

“Noticed what?” he asks, not rising his eyes from where he’s got them stuck to her laptop. His face is not as skinny anymore, not as gaunt. He looks healthier than ever, no bags under his eyes, and yet there is a shadow on him, a weight that wasn’t there before.

 

“You, slipping money between our cushions and into out coats” she yawns. It’s a Wednesday and since a month before she had started taking shifts in the week too, and she’s not missing on sleep as much as she’s just tired all the time. Juaco picks up Dani the days she works, and she hates what that means for him, so young and already shouldering so much responsibility, but the pay is good and at least this way he doesn’t have to work.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Tony says, not looking at her.

 

“I know you may feel guilty, but we’re not a charity case, Mr. Stark. You’re not responsible for us”

 

“Kid, you’re not even seventeen” Mr. Stark puts aside the laptop, gripping the little screwdriver he had been using into his fist, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back “You shouldn’t have to do this alone. Taking care of your siblings when you’re a kid yourself-your sister is not your daughter, you shouldn’t have to-to dress her and feed her-”

 

“But I do. I take care of them because no one else will care for them the way I do. We can’t be broken apart, not after-not after everything we’ve lost” she lays her hands flat against the table, looking at them instead of him. She’s lost, completely and utterly lost in this maze that life has become-she’s not sure what decisions are best, never sure of what she’s doing is not harming those around her-but she has no one there for her, no mother to guide her, no father to lean on, and she’s so so sure she’s not the only one in the universe.

 

“I know, but what are you going to do when you go to college, hmm?” Mr. Stark throws the little screwdriver into the table, staring at her until she raises her eyes.

 

“I’m not going. I can’t” she confesses, an she looks around to make sure Juaco is not around. It was a bridge she was going to cross when she got to it, and she still had years ahead for that.

 

“Kid, if it’s money-”

 

“No, you don’t get it, it’s not about the money” she interrupts him, shaking her head. “I could try for a loan, I could _maybe_ get into a good school-but what about the time? Even if you support us, I’d be gone all day and when I get home, I still wouldn’t have time for them because I’d need to study ten times what I study now-they need me. Just as much as I need them”

 

She hugs herself, trying to make herself small. She feels like drowning, like she has been thrown into the sea without knowing how to swim, and everyone was expecting her to do it like it was the motherfucking triathlon. 

 

“I can’t put more responsibility on Juaco, Mr. Stark. I can’t. Not like it was for me”

 

* * *

 

She goes to Mr. Stark’s wedding.

 

It’s a small affair and the missing parts are so obvious it makes her sad. She was supposed to be a plus one, _Peter’s_ plus one. Her mom had promised she would go shopping for dresses with her once they were closer to the date, had told her they could get Peter a tie the color of her dress.

 

Instead, she gets a formal invitation one of the days Mr. Stark drops by, and Pepper Potts, fucking CEO of Stark motherfucking Industries, takes her shopping for a dress she refuses to let Juliana pay for. They tell her she can take a plus one, that the number of guests had been…reduced.

 

She goes alone, and both her and Mr. Stark get misty eyed over it.

 

“You look great, kid” he tells her, arm slung over her shoulders.

 

It’s always kid, never Juliana or Julie like Pepper calls her, and she thinks of the way he used to call Peter kid, too.

 

* * *

                                                                                

Juaco cries into her shoulder the day of their father’s birthday. She pats his back the best she can, rubbing circles like she did when he was little and came crying to her.

 

She hates the world that day so, so much.

 

* * *

 

“You know, kid, you could change schools” Mr. Stark is helping her dry the dishes, part of their monthly dinners, when he tries to approach the subject.  He seems nonchalant, throwing the rag over his shoulder and leaning on the counter beside her. Pepper’s missing, something about a big meeting for SI, and she misses her.

 

“It’s only two more years, I doubt they will make such a difference” she shrugs, handling him a plate so he can put it in the cupboard over his shoulder. He doesn’t take it, and she realizes a second later what it is. With a roll of her eyes, she leaves it on the counter, so he can take it from there. She thinks he mumbles something that sounds like ‘ _Don’t take it personal’_ “I wish I could get Joaquín on a better one, actually” she blurts out. She’s not sure what she’s trying to accomplish, but maybe something will come out of it “He’s really smart with all the tech and stuff-wish he could go to a school with actual funding for that”

 

“What about Midtown?” Mr. Stark says after a few seconds. They both know it’s a sensitive subject, something neither of them is completely over. She knows Mr. Stark misses Peter, and she still mourn him from time to time, even months later, because she did love him. 

 

“I can’t afford Midtown” she says, shaking her head with a sad smile. Once, she had yearned to go there, if only because it was a good school. Yes, she was smart, but not that tech inclined. Although Midtown’s debate team _was_ to die for. She wonders if they still are, how many of them are left.

 

“But I can”

 

“I’d never ask for that” and she doesn’t look at him. She can’t, because she knows she’ll only see his desire to help, to do something for them. Most billionaires were philanthropists if only for the cut on their taxes. But Tony Stark? Tony Stark, who had a library for teenagers on his tower? Tony Stark, who helped pay for the disasters Avengers were part of when it wasn’t their fault? Tony Stark, who funded so many projects from different schools so kids kept creating? Tony Stark, who had seen three orphaned Latino kids and decided _fuck it, I’ll help all of them_ and funded the Parker Home, for those orphaned?

 

Tony Stark didn’t do it for the taxes.

 

“I’m offering. You would never accept for yourself, _I know_ , but for him…”

 

“Deal”

 

“Pepper’s pregnant, by the way”

 

“Mr. Stark! That’s great!” and she’s hesitant on whether to hug him or not, but he has a big smile on his face, so she decides that maybe it’s alright. It lasts less than three seconds, but she hopes he knows how happy it makes her.

 

“Yeah, we’re still quiet because, you know, we’re not that young, but she’s as healthy as a horse and so far, so is the baby”

 

And Mr. Stark is smiling so, so wide, she thinks he deserves al least three more kids.

 

* * *

 

 

Midtown offers psychological help to their students.

 

Juliana urges Juaco to take it, to go and see if it helps.

 

He never tells her if it works, but he goes until he graduates and it’s more than she could have hoped for.

 

* * *

 

Dani calls her mom one day.

 

She’s crying too hard to tell her otherwise.

 

Next time, she would. When she could understand what happened to half of the universe.

 

* * *

 

She fumbles for her phone in the dark, squinting against the light from the screen before she can finally answer.

 

“Hello?” she asks, sitting up and trying to use the light from the phone to turn up the little lamp she has beside her bed. Faintly, she thinks she hears crying.

 

“God, this is so awkward. Hi, kid”

 

“Hello? Mr. Stark?” she pauses in rubbing her eyes clear, blinking at the sound of the man’s voice.

 

“Morgan won’t stop crying, and Pep’s out of town because of SI and I-”

 

“It’s okay. Let’s see what the problem could be” she drops herself back into her pillows and closes her eyes, listening to Mr. Stark list the things he has done and haven’t worked.

 

* * *

 

 

She still texts Peter. They never reach him, but it’s good for her sometimes. She has no hope of him answering, not really, but she needs someone to talk, someone to vent when everything because a little too much.

 

 

**Sunshine Peter**

 

I miss the way you made me feel(1:25am)

I miss being carefree(1:25am)

I miss being a teenager(1:25am)

I miss you(1:25am)

God, I miss you(1:26am)

Some days I feel like I can’t keep going, like this

is far too much, like I’m way over my head(1:26am)

But I can’t give up, I can’t leave them alone(1:26am)

I want things to be like they were before(1:26am)

But that won’t happen, will it?(1:26am)

I think I still love you(1:27am)

Sometimes I’m just…standing, or sitting, and I

wish you had your arm around me(1:27am)

Wish you were there, just there(1:27am)

I miss your superhuman warmth(1:27am)

I miss your jokes(1:28am)

I miss your tshirts(1:28am)

 

 

Most of the time she’s left crying to a dark room.

 

* * *

 

“Uli?” she hears someone call for her “Uli?” she feels someone shake her, so she opens her eyes, alarmed.

  
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” she sees Juaco over her, hunched over as he holds his belly.

“My stomach hurts”

“Alright. Go back to bed, I’ll go make you something” she presses the heels of her hands against her eyes, taking a deep breath before getting herself out of bed.

 

She searches the cupboards for the fucking drops her mom always used, and when she finds them she checks the expiration date. They’re expired for a month now, but maybe they would still work? At 4 am, she thinks this is the best she’ll get. It’s not like she knows what pharmacies are open. She measures them into a little glass of water and takes it to him while the waters boils.

 

“I’m making you some of that tea with herbs and shit that mom made, okay? Now drink this” she places the glass on her brother’s hand, sitting on the side of his bed.

 

“I hate medicine” he says, looking at the now rosy water with a furrowed brow.

 

“Yeah, but these ones taste nice, I swear”

 

She watches until Joaquin has drink it all, mumbling under his breath that it’s not about _taste_ , it’s about the _principle_ of it, before she leaves, only to come back with a warm mug and sugar.

 

“Here. You add the sugar” she watches as he puts five spoonsful of sugar, all while she purses her lips, and then runs her hand through his hair as he drinks “When did it start?”

 

“At school. I puked around ten, but I didn’t want to worry you” he pulls the covers more tightly around him, putting both hands around the mug. Juliana puts the back of her hand against his forehead, pulling his dark hair back. Joaquín had always been paler than her, taking after their mother with his straight hair and hazel eyes, while she had taken after their father with her darker skin and slightly curly hair.

 

“You don’t seem warm, so maybe it’s just a stomach bug” she gives him a half smile, trying to get some reassurance into him.

 

“Let’s hope. I don’t want to miss any classes” he puts the mug on his nightstand and scoots over, burying himself under the covers. She sits by his side, leaning on the headboard.

 

“You’ll be okay” she says as she puts her hand on his back over the covers, rubbing circles as she waits for him to fall asleep.

 

She falls asleep sitting beside him on his bed, not even covered. She’s woken up by his alarm, and when she looks down he’s asleep with a pained face on.

 

“Juaco? Wake up” she puts a hand against his forehead and feels him burning up.

_Fuck._

 

“Baby, I need you to stand up” he does with her help but can’t take a step. He’s clutching the right side on his belly, close to his hip.

 

 _Fuck_.

 

“Did it always hurt there?”

 

“Since last night”

 

_FUCK!_

 

“Okay, lay down again. I’m calling 911” she lets him sit on his bed again, grabbing his phone.

 

“What?!” he says, laying back down. He sounds scared and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t, but she puts on her best brave face and faces him.

 

“I think you have appendicitis and we don’t own a fucking car, Joaquín. It’ll be an ambulance” she kisses his forehead before calling 911 at the same time she throws on some clothes and puts her hair up.

 

They say the ambulance would be there on 10 minutes, and she takes that time to put a jacket on a sleepy Dani and packing some food, because she doesn’t know how long they’ll have to be there.

 

She gives herself a minute to panic, clutching at her hair and letting tears fall while she counts to sixty. After the time has passed, she takes a deep breath, uses her fingers to fix her ponytail and rubs at her eyes until all signs of moisture have disappeared.

 

They let her ride in the ambulance with Dani on her lap because there is no one else to look after her, and the paramedics understand that.

 

They rush Juaco to take exams, they’ll use an ultrasound to see if it really is appendicitis and then rush him to the operation room. He looks so small as they wheel him away, scared as he looks to the lights on the ceiling and she’s left with her heart hanging by a thread, clutching Dani as close as she can.

 

Dani has been quiet, hiding herself as she fills out the paperwork with whatever she remembers. She starts crying after half an hour while they wait for answers, and doesn’t stop when the doctor steps out to say they’ll be operating, that is should take just about an hour, maybe two, if she’s sure there is no one she can call to wait with her.

 

“I think there might be, but-I don’t know” she answers, putting her right hand on her forehead as she bounces Dani with her left, trying to think despite her cries that have turned mostly to whimpers now. She yearns for Peter’s warm arms, if she can’t have her parents there.

 

“Look, I can see you’re young” the surgeon seems older, with gentle dark eyes as he lays a hand on her arm “And I know so many lives where shaken by the Decimation-but if have someone, anyone to be here with you, I think you should call them” she nods, gives her okay for the operation and goes sit down.

 

Dani wears herself out only minutes later, and she lays her down across the chair she has been using before approaching the nurse statin that is right in front of her.

 

“Could I use your phone, please?”

 

“Of course, darling” the nurse smiles at her, and she thinks of May, probably working at this time, in another hospital not that far away. Did she ever have orphaned siblings on her ER? Did she ever had an older sibling wearing themselves down as they tried to make sense of the world?

 

She takes out her phone, stealing glances to her little sister as she puts the correct numbers and waits for them to pick up.

 

“Hello?” the confused voice that answers is like salvation for her.

 

“Mrs. Potts? It’s Juliana”

 

“Julie? Why are you calling from the hospital, what happened?”

“Juaco has appendicitis. If you or Mr. Stark could come over-I know you have Morgan to take care of, but I just-I’m way over my head, and I-I need someone” she hears a commotion on the other side of the line, hushed words before the sound of a door hitting a wall.

 

“Tony is on his way” is all she says before the line goes dead.

 

She goes back to Dani after thanking the nurse, and it’s maybe ten minutes or less before she hears a metallic sound from outside, not even thirty feet away from her. She hears machinery sounds and when she looks, Mr. Stark is coming inside, his armor disappearing into his chest where the arc reactor is stuck to his clothes.

 

“Kid” he says, opening his arm for her to fall on them.

 

She sobs against him, and she doesn’t know if it’s because he has grown used to her, if it’s because having Morgan has changed his ways or what, but he comforts her in a way he wouldn’t have ten months ago.

 

* * *

 

Juaco makes a full and fast recovery, and Mr. Stark doesn’t let her pay for anything.

 

Apparently, a medical bill won’t stop making him a billionaire, or so he says.

 

* * *

 

She graduates school, and her siblings and the Starks are there. She can hear the whispers, why Tony Stark is there for her, her of all people.

 

She takes Morgan into her arms and tries to drown everything out.

 

They pop open a bottle of champagne and they let Juaco try it, but he doesn’t like until he has put stevia on it. She drinks hers way too fast and is light headed for a second, and Mr. Stark comments how it would have done nothing for him at her age.

 

There is a silence when he realizes why she doesn’t drink, why she doesn’t go to parties.

 

* * *

 

Tony asks her about college, but she won’t go. She refuses.

 

It leads into a fight, and she’s left angry and crying in the middle of her living room while Mr. Stark storms out. She probably shouldn’t have called him a rich kid who grew up with no needs, but she needed to get it out of her chest so badly, why he could never understand why she was doing it.

 

He appears two hours later with Chinese take-out.

 

“I never had needs, not like yours, you’re right” he says as he tries to fish for the last piece of chicken from his carton. His chopsticks fail to get it and he gives up, using his hand to take it and put it in his mouth “But I never had the best relationship with my family, so I thought I couldn’t understand what you’re going through”

 

Juliana helps Dani with her rice while Mr. Stark thinks, Juaco tucked away on his bedroom eating. He’s at that age, she tries to tell herself.

 

 “I tried to think of putting the time I put into college at that age and more, because, well, I’m a genius, and looking after Morgan at the same time and…I understand. I’m not happy, but I get it, kid”

 

* * *

 

She likes the lake house Mr. Stark has. He likes to tell her they’re more than welcome to stay and it makes for good weekend getaways, when she thinks the week has been too much, her job now from Mondays to Fridays. She thinks that maybe it gets a little too lonely, just the three of them in such a big house. Mr. Stark seems to like it like that, away from the spotlight so Morgan can have a normal childhood.

 

“I’m thinking lake house?” she asks Joaquín, who nods with his mouth full from where he’s leaning on the counter. He likes to tinker with Mr. Stark, learning from the genius. He’s seventeen and already loves all of that stuff, maybe even more than Peter did. Juaco just can’t like chemistry, so much more into circuit boards and wires and what he calls _applied physics_ and so many things she can’t understand, even after graduating with honors. She always was more of an English and History girl herself.  

 

It feels like a pang right in her chest, realizing what Juaco is now. He’s older than Peter ever was.

 

“Are you okay, Uli?” her brother asks, touching her shoulder.

 

“Yeah, I’m okay” she smiles, passing the pad of her finger under her eyes “I’ll go call Mr. Stark”

 

“You should call him Tony, y’know?”

 

“Yeah, no” she laughs as she shakes her head, ruffling Dani’s hair as she walks by.

 

“Noo, ¡para!” Dani cries, swatting away her hand. She’s almost five and fluent in English more than Spanish, but she and Juaco are trying. They just don’t want her to suffer what they did, learning English almost as the same time as they learned everything else, and Dani’s just not picking up Spanish like they did, her accent so much thicker that theirs, but that’s okay. She had years to learn if she wanted.

  
“Te amo” she blows her a kiss, and Dani pouts at her.

 

“Yo también”

 

* * *

 

She’s sitting by the lake when Mr. Stark approaches her.

 

“So, Morgan can barely talk and somehow you sister is teaching her to sing”

 

“That’s just how she is” she smiles, moving aside as an invitation for him to sit.

 

“She’s going into Kindergarden next year, right?”

 

“Yeah” she pulls her legs towards herself, hugging them.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“It’s…hard, to think about it. I know Mom would’ve wanted to be there” she keeps her eyes on the lake, and first thinks of how beautiful it is, how nice it must look on pictures, and then thinks of Peter and his habit of taking pictures.

 

“I still think about him, you know. Haven’t forgotten him” and like he’s reading her mind, Mr. Stark brings him up.

“He’s hard to forget” she half smiles, leaning her cheek on her knees and looking at him.

 

“He loved you a lot. Couldn’t stop talking about you, how wonderful you were, how beautiful. God, it made me so crazy” Tony half smiles back at her, shaking his head as he looks at the lake “I can’t believe I miss him not shutting up”

 

“He admired you. You were more than his mentor. You were-well, you were our hero. We saw you from the beginning” and she looks at Mr. Stark and he looks so much older than he did back when he started, little more than ten years ago. He looks tired, so tired, and Juliana thinks it must be so lonely, to be part of something larger than life and suddenly…to find yourself away from it.

 

There are no more Avengers, Mr. Stark himself retired. Captain America, Black Widow, Falcon, Scarlet Witch-they had all been gone since 2016, running away and hiding until the Decimation took away the two newer Avengers. No one knew anything about Hawkeye, and Dr. Banner and War Machine had followed Mr. Stark’s example and retired.

 

“Did you know you saved his life when he was a kid?” Tony whips his head towards her, eyes wide “Yeah. He was…seven, maybe? His Uncle and Aunt took him to the Stark Expo, and it was when-when this guy made things explode” she watches as emotions flash across Tony’s face, from anger to sadness to a small smile at the end “He was…He told me he had a plastic helmet on, and this kids glove that just glowed”

 

“He pointed it to a drone”

                                   

“And you came up from behind him to blast it”

 

“I remember the kid”

 

“That was Peter. For him, you weren’t just a mentor. You saved his life, back when he was just a little kid from Queens”

 

They’re quiet for a few minutes, just enjoying the lake. She can the girls laughing, and Mrs. Potts’ voice along with theirs. Juaco must be somewhere making use of Mr. Stark’s tech, like a kid on a candy store.

 

“He loved you, Mr. Stark” she whispers, and when she smiles at him, it’s equal parts sad and resigned.

 

“You can call me Tony” he says, raising his arm and passing it around her shoulders.

 

* * *

 

**Tony**

 

Just how busy are you?(6:45pm)

 

Bored out of my mind(6:45pm)

What do you have for me?(6:45pm)

 

College applications(6:46pm)

We don’t know what to do with them(6:46pm)

Never had to(6:46pm)

 

Delete for all?

 **Delete**    Cancel

 

_Your message has been deleted._

 

On my way(7:02pm)

Tell him M.I.T’s the best(7:02pm)

 

Tell him yourself(7:04pm)

 

* * *

 

Joaquín gets into M.I.T with a scholarship, and they pop a bottle of champagne when they get the letter. He still puts stevia on it, and Tony gives him a good computer, saying he would need it, and to call him for anything if he ever had doubts, even if it was just to ask where they sold the best cheeseburgers.

 

 _Specially_ to ask where they sold the best cheeseburgers.

 

* * *

 

Dani asks so much after him, they start having nightly videocalls, where Juaco tells them funny stories and how much he misses them, and Dani in turns tells him all about her day. He calls before parties on Fridays, and on Saturdays he’s at their door just past midday.

 

He looks a little more tired, but happy. More carefree.

 

And she’s so glad for it.

 

* * *

 

_Incoming call: **Tony**. _

_Undisclosed number._

 

“Hello?”

 

“ _Hi, kid_ ”

 

“Hi, Tony. How are you? How’s Morgan?”

 

_“Fine, fine, we’re all fine. I just-I need to ask something from you”_

“Anything”

 

“ _I need you to take a free day tomorrow_ ”

 

“What? Why? Do you need me to come by?”

 

“ _We’re going to…try something. We think it’ll work, but you can never be sure, right?”_

 

“Is this about the decimation?”

 

“… _Yes_ ”

 

“Tony, please, be careful. Think of Morgan and Pepper”

 

“ _Always_ ”

 

* * *

 

She’s sitting on the living room, her laptop on her lap as she types away to a mail she needs to send for work when she hears a gasp at the end of the couch. She looks up, fully expecting her brother to be there to tell her something, and instead comes to see two men sitting there.

 

She screams.

 

She shuts the laptop, letting it fall when she stands and not giving it a second thought about how that might kill it for good. The man sitting closer to her looks to her, his curly hair catching the natural light from the window.

 

“…Dad?” she asks, and she feels the tears building up fast, spilling over in seconds.

 

“¿Uli? ¿Qué pasó?” he asks, standing up as well.

 

“…Dad” she cries, jumping into his arms without a second thought, needing to make sure he’s there, actually there and not another dream like those she had five years ago.

 

She hears Juaco come into room, his steps halted when he sees the people on the room.

 

“¡Papá!” he yells, running up to him an engulfing him into his arms. Juliana takes a step back, going over to Gustavo to give him a good hug too. He seems confused, but he accepts it anyway with a frown.

 

“Mijo, ¿qué pasa? Since when are you so tall?” she hears her father, and then she hears rustling from her parent’s room. She hasn’t been there for years, closing the door and locking it the week after the Decimation.

 

“”¡Oigan! ¿Quién fue el chistocito que me encerró?” she hears a woman’s voice, a voice she had thought she wouldn’t hear again.

 

“Mom” she whispers, running the few meters it takes for her to reach for her keys and then back to the door. She unlocks it with shaking hands, almost afraid of whatever is in the other side.

 

It’s been five years. Five years of not having her mom there, five years of taking responsibilities for a baby and a teenager while being one herself.

 

It had been five years of trying not to buckle under the weight, of taking all of it off her brother’s shoulders to the point she sacrificed what she had been working on for years so he could have it.

 

She opens the door and her mother is the same, her light hair and her eyes hazel, her frown burrowed.

 

“Mom” she whispers, hugging her and burying herself on her warmth. She feels Juaco and she makes space for him, so they both can smell her perfume and feel the soft warmth they had been denied for five years.

 

 

_Mr. Stark did it._

 

_They did it._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _Peter_.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

Happy’s the one to call her and pick them up.

 

Her parents try to stop them, mistrusting of Happy since they had never seen him, forbidding them from going out with everything that was going on, when they had so many doubts, it had barely been a day.

 

Happy knocks on the door, his face solemn and his eyes red, and she feels the breath knocked out of her. It’s like the Decimation all over again, but now there is no Mr. Stark to tell her the news.

 

“The boss-” is all he can say, before he has to purse his lips and close his eyes “I’m here to take you to the lake house, if you want to come”

 

“Of course” she says, although all she wants is to lock herself on her room and cry. She got her parents back, everyone was back, but at what cost? And god, Morgan was barely four.

 

She goes inside, Happy behind her, and she can see the way her parents look at him.

 

“Tony is dead” she says, not wanting to sugarcoat it, and Juaco starts crying there and then. Dani is confused, looking from her big brother to Juliana, who has gone by his side and is crying too.

 

“But mom and dad were dead too, and they came back” she says on her little voice, looking at Happy for confirmation “Tony will come back too, right?”

 

“No, he won’t” Happy tells her, soft like when he speaks to Morgan, and Dani’s eyes fill with tears.

 

Her mother doesn’t want to let them go, grabbing her arm as she tries to follow after Happy to the car. There are no bags to be carried, they had more than enough clothes there for an overnight stay.

 

“You can’t just trust this man to tell you that Tony Stark is dead. How can you-why-”

 

“I’ve known Happy for years, mother. Long before you were gone” and she hadn’t seen him that years, but Peter had told her of him, of how he never laughed despite being called Happy, how he was his line to Mr. Stark on those days before he had seen Peter for what he was “I’d trust him with my life” and she tugs her arm out of her reach, seeing as Juaco follows him out the door.

 

“Don’t take Dani” and her mother puts her arm out and stops Dani from taking another step, pushing her back into the apartment.

 

“But I want to go! I want to see Morgan! She’ll be sad” and Dani is looking at their mother, and Juliana knows she’s fighting with this image of her youngest daughter when just hours ago, in her mind, she had seen her being two years old.

 

“You can come if you want” she extends her hand towards her, and Dani looks at their mother for a second before she walks to her.

 

And she knows her mother is trying to protect Dani from the sadness that comes with funerals, of all the crying and mourning, but Dani had been to Tony’s house for most of her life, she deserved to mourn him too. She knew that house like she knew their apartment, and she had spent countless mornings eating pancakes with Morgan for breakfast, being basically the only friend that kid had in that house so far away from everyone, and she would probably remain her only friend until Morgan went to school.

 

Dani takes her hand with both of hers, a habit she’s had her whole life, and follows her.

 

* * *

 

The car ride is tense, silence broken only by sniff and shaky breaths from time to time. She’s sitting in the middle of the back seat, and lets her head fall on Juaco’s shoulder as she hugs Dani to her.

 

She catches Happy’s eyes on the rear mirror, like a million times before when he drove them to the lake house, but this time she can’t smile to him.

 

* * *

 

They get down from the car and go inside. There are many people there, and she thinks they’re all Avengers. Most of them are dirty from the battle that had finished just a few hours before.

 

Dani goes to Morgan in an instant, the little girl looking a little lost among all the people, taking the girl by the hand and walking her outside, away from all the crying that’s happening inside. She thinks they’ll probably be in the little tent Tony had made for Morgan, and hopefully Happy or Rhodey will join them. Morgan shouldn’t be alone, not after loosing her dad.

 

“Pepper” she says as soon as she sees the redhead and goes straight into her arms. The woman looked composed, back straight and eyes just slightly red, still in the suit Tony had made her after Juaco had been in the hospital, so she could go anywhere she was needed in an instant. Juliana can hear her sobbing against her when she hugs her “Shh, he’s resting now, Pep” and it’s the only reassurance she can think of, because there is no positive side of losing someone like Tony.

 

“I know. I know, but I just-” she pulls away, wiping her eyes.

 

“I know. You know I’m here, right?” she puts her hands on her upper arms and squeezes lightly.

 

“You’re the young one. I should be here for you” and Pepper lets out a shaky laugh, shaking her head to compose herself.

 

“He was your husband, Pepper”

 

“He was a good one, you know?”

  
  
“I know” she leads her to the couch, insists she takes off the suit and she goes to shower and change clothes.

 

She goes make tea to the kitchen and sees that most of the avengers are now outside, talking close to the lake. She thinks some are saying bye, ready to go to their families now that everything is over. Pepper comes back after twenty minutes, and Juliana doesn’t comment on it even if she knows that Pepper never took more than five minutes.

 

Pepper tells her everything is being handled, that Morgan doesn’t really understand what’s happening, that she just found out Tony left messages for both of them, and she thinks she will show them to Morgan after the funeral.

 

And suddenly she hears him from behind her, so quiet she almost misses it.

 

“Juliana?”

 

And he’s there, just like the last time she saw him, so _young_. He’s a little worse for wear, but he’s Peter, her Peter, the one she lost five years ago and had thought lost forever. He’s standing there, wearing the stupid “taste the sadness” t-shirt she had gotten him for their anniversary.

 

“Peter” she whispers, and she looks at Pepper, who somehow has enough strength to smile and nod.

 

She hugs him into her, hesitant because she can’t really believe it. It’s Peter, solid and warm under her fingertips, just like her parents had been. She sobs his name into his shoulder, gripping him maybe just a bit too tight, digging her fingers into his shoulders to make sure he’s real and he’s not going anywhere. She kisses the side of his head, once, twice, thrice before she makes a path into his face, cupping his cheeks and landing her lips everywhere she can reach. When she kisses his lips, it’s like no time has passed at all, just like she remembers and better.

 

But it’s strange, when she pulls away. He’s sixteen.

 

And she’s not.

 

* * *

 

They stand just behind Captain America for the funeral, Dani just in front of her and Juaco as she grips Peter’s hand on hers, so strong she would have hurt him had he been completely human.

 

* * *

 

It’s only three days after the funeral when her mother is cooking and she’s on her laptop on the kitchen table.

 

“Dani doesn’t speak Spanish” her mother says, her back to her as she cuts something on a board.

 

“Yes, she does. Just not as her first language”

 

“Why? She should have learned it first” Juliana doesn’t have to look up to know that her mother is clutching the knife too tight, to know she’s clenching her teeth.

 

“We thought it was better if she learned English first so school wasn’t as hard for her” knowing what’s coming, Juliana closes the laptop and puts it on her bag. She has to leave for work in maybe twenty minutes, having only the afternoon shift thanks to some mix up with the shifts last week, but maybe she’ll leave earlier. Now that the Vanished have returned, her boss wanted her help to figure out what was going to happen.

 

“You knew I wanted her to learn Spanish first”

 

“Yaah, well, I learned Spanish first and it didn’t go so well”

 

“What do you mean it didn’t go so well? You were on top of you class last year!”

 

“I was top of my class _three_ years ago, mother. And I may have been top of my class on high school, but back on first grade it took me a lot of work to even understand what the teacher was saying. I didn’t want that for Dani”

 

“You knew I wanted her to learn Spanish first!”

 

“BUT YOU WEREN’T THERE!” she screams, hitting her fists against the table. Her mother has tears on her eyes when she looks at her, knife still on her hand.

  
“That wasn’t my fault” her mother says.

 

“No, it wasn’t. But it still happened, and I was sixteen years old with two siblings under my care and I did what I thought was best, so I’m sorry if it doesn’t agree with you, but it was my decision and I’ll stand by it” she grabs her bag and stands, going straight to the door.

 

“Juliana! Come back here!”

 

“I’m going to work! Some of us had to work for a living” she lets the door hit the wall and then close with too much force when she leaves, but she thinks she has a little justification.

 

She dries her tears as she walks to the metro, and she’s thankful she lives in New York City and no one asks anything.

 

She calls Peter when she gets out of work, and asks if he can meet her.

 

* * *

 

They try to make it work because they deserve it. They deserve this happiness, this normality after the last five years.

 

But everything is fucked up.

 

She tries to let it go. To avoid thinking of how Peter is only sixteen, now even younger than Juaco, and she’s twenty-one, hardened by the last five years in a way that wouldn’t have happened if Thanos hadn’t vanished half the population.

 

A part of her still loves Peter, and she thinks she will always love him. But he’s still baby faced, still young and his voice still breaks. He still enjoys Star Wars like the teenager he still is, and it’s not his fault, not in any universe this is his fault…but things have undoubtedly changed.

 

* * *

 

Peter is laying by her side, his hand tangled in her hair as she drinks him in. He’s just the same, his warm eyes blinking slowly at her as he wakes up from the nap she made him take.

 

“Your face is slimmer” he tells her, letting go of her hair to trace the shape of her cheekbone.

 

“I know” she whispers, bringing her arms to her chest and curling into herself even more. She tells herself she has cried enough, that she won’t cry this time for something they can’t change.

 

* * *

 

Peter gets panics attacks. He calls her from the suit, ‘Karen’ flashing on her phone while she’s at work and she makes excuses, begs until she can answer it and talk him out of it.

 

He’s usually a mess, blabbering and sobbing and asking for the date, desperate to anchor himself to something. Something he’s sobbing about Mr. Stark, about how much he misses him, how much it hurts.

 

He sneaks into her room, deep into the night, and sleeps clutching her like a lifeline.

 

She tries to think it’s Peter, her darling, sunshine Peter whom she loved so.

 

But he’s just…so young.

 

* * *

 

“Here” he tells her one evening when they’re on a date, putting his hand over hers and dropping something.

 

When he pulls away, the sees what it is. It’s a chain, from where a spider hangs.

 

“I know you’re not one for accessories, but-well, I thought-”

 

“I love it, Peter” she smiles, her chest warm. She does love him, more than she can think, but she has to think straight. He’s not even out of high school and now she works so much, all of her money going to savings now that her parents are back, they can only see each other on the evenings or the weekends.

 

Is it illegal if they were together back when they were both the same age?

 

* * *

 

Peter is about a month away from going to Europe when she decides she has to end things.

 

She hates to be like that, going away when Peter _needs_ her, when he needs someone to anchor him, someone who understands him.

 

But she can’t keep fooling herself that it will be alright, not when she’s been studying secretly, when she’s been sending applications since months ago with the help of Pepper under promise not to say anything.

 

Because she finally has the chance to go to school without the guilt of leaving Juaco with too many responsibilities, without the mental obligation to provide for her siblings.

 

* * *

 

She cries before she calls him.

 

They both cry, but she thinks Peter understands. She’s been slowly pulling herself away until she thinks he’s noticed, and hopes he thinks it’s the natural course of things, because it’s the best for him.

 

He doesn’t need the comments, the looks they get on the street.

 

He doesn’t deserve it.

 

“I love you” she says, looking into his red rimmed eyes “I really, really love you, Peter Parker” and she kisses him like it’s the last kiss they’ll share because it is, and when she leaves she’s crying.

 

* * *

 

She cuts her long, long hair the day after until it’s only just above her shoulders in an impulse decision.

 

Her mother is horrified, but Juliana can’t care.

 

* * *

 

She gets on a good college there in New York, and her father insists she stays with them, so she doesn’t have the obligations of living on her own as she studies. Things with her mother are still tense, and she think they will be for a good while.

 

Pepper takes her to dinner when she hears, and doesn’t comment when Juliana asks about Peter.

 

* * *

 

She asks her father for Peter, and she ignores the way he looks at her when he tells her that he’s not doing all that well.

 

* * *

 

She sees the news of what’s happening on Europe and her fingers itch to call him, to reassure him that everything would be okay, that he could do it, he just had to trust those that had his back.

 

She doesn’t.

 

* * *

 

Dani wakes up a night, maybe six months after everyone comes back. After years, she’s so tuned to her voice Juliana’s already at her own door, hand on the handle, when she hears her mother walk to her sister’s room.

 

She leans her forehead on the door, closing her eyes to stop the tears because _it’s not her responsibility anymore_ , but it still _feels_ like it. She’s relived she doesn’t have to care for them anymore, but there is something inside her that can’t help it, that feels like she needs to be there for them no matter what.

 

Her heart is beating fast, just like when Dani fell on the playground and came crying to her, when _she_ was the one to dry her tears and shush her. It has been a few difficult months and stepping back so her parents could step up had been harder than she thought possible. She misses Juaco’s constant presence, just like she knows Dani must miss him.

 

“I WANT ULI!” she hears the scream coming from her sister’s room, and she wastes no time in opening her door, maybe with a little too much force, and going to Dani’s.

 

“Dani” she says, turning on the light. She knows Dani hates the lamp from her nightstand after a nightmare, because it created too many shadows, and she tells herself that her mother didn’t know, couldn’t have known, but the feeling is still there. That no one can take care of Dani like she can, that no one understands her like she does.

 

“Uli!” her sister cries, kicking the covers back and going to her on all fours. She takes her sister under her armpits, lifting her to her hip and letting her hug her. Even at seven, Dani is light as a feather “I want to sleep with you” she mumbles, taking a strand of Juliana’s hair into her hands and curling it around her finger.

 

“She shouldn’t be sleeping with anyone, she’s seven. She’s old enough to sleep by herself”

 

“She just had a nightmare, give her a break” she snaps, turning around and taking Dani to her room.

 

She tries to tell herself it’s not her fault, not her fault, but she’s terrified of how they’re taking her away slowly.

 

* * *

 

She gets into International Relations, and Pepper tells her there is an internship at Stark Industries right there for her to take when she feels ready.

 

She has stopped asking about Peter when she visits, but Pepper still updates her from time to time.

 

He gets into M.I.T, and she smiles the whole day after she hears.

 

* * *

 

She dives head first into her studies, trying to ignore everything else.

 

Sometimes she’s alone in the library or taking a test for the required science credits, and the gaping hole that had been her friend for five years reappears, and she yearns for his easy smile, for the trivia he always knew and the way he made so many things seem simple.  

 

Maybe it would have been easier if she had been Vanished too, wouldn’t it? Then she’d be eighteen instead of twenty three, and life would be easier.

 

But would it have been easier for her siblings?

 

And at the end of the day, she’s still the eldest child, and the thought of them tells her that no, maybe it wouldn’t have been easier.

 

* * *

 

Things with her mother take a while to smooth out. She thinks that they’ll never be the same, she’ll never have to lean so much into her again and it’ll always hurt her mother. Her children will never be as small again, she’ll never get the lost years back, but she’s slowly coming to terms with it.

 

They both go to therapy, and it helps Juliana let go, slowly, of everything she has been holding on. A part of her will always see Daniela as her daughter, but at least she’s more her sister.

 

* * *

 

She’s going through the papers on her arms one last time, trying to see if she’s missed anything at the same time she’s making a mental note to remember Pepper to book the place for Morgan’s birthday when she exits the elevator that she almost misses him.

 

“Juliana Delmar?” she hears someone call when she gets down, and she turns her head around. There’s a man there, dressed in a shirt with rolled up sleeves and dress pants, maybe coming out of a meeting. There is an ID hanging from his pants, red. Red means the higher clearance, and she knows because hers is Red, too. She looks at the man in front of her and notices a boyish look to him. He doesn’t look older than 20, and when she gets a good look at him she realizes in less than a second who he is.

 

“Peter” she smiles, actually happy to see him. It had been so long since she had seen him in person, since she had spoken to him face to face. He had moved out of Queens, had stopped going to Delmar’s when he got into college outside the city and so she had stopped getting updates from her father.

 

“You cut your hair” he comments, blinking and looking at her hair. She knows it must be a little shocking for him since she had worn it _long_ for as long as they had known each other.

 

“Oh, yeah, it’s kinda new” she fingers the little wisps of hair that tickle her cheek, her hair now right above her shoulders. It’s not _new_ , not really. Five years wasn’t new.

 

“What, what, what are you doing here?” he crosses his arms, and she notices that his shirt tightens around his forearms in a way it didn’t back when he was a teenager. Not that he would have used his plaid shirts with his sleeves rolled up, Peter had always been such a nerd.

 

“Got an internship with Pepper” she shrugs, gesturing with the papers she has on her arms.

 

“What, what are you studying?” and he seems so genuinely interested, not like most guys she talked with, that it warmed her chest in a way she hadn’t felt since she was a teenager in love with him, before Thanos and the Decimation, back when she was still innocent enough.

“International Relations. I graduate this year, actually” and she smiles, because she’s fucking _proud_ of it.

 

“That’s great! That’s-that’s really cool” and he seems so excited for her she can’t help but smile.

 

“And you, Peter?”

 

“Well, I still have this internship, for real this time. Got into M.I.T” and she knows that, but she never got the chance of congratulate him.

 

“That’s wonderful, Peter! I’m really proud” she puts her hand on his arm and realizes a second too late that maybe she’s not allowed to do that, anymore.

 

“How have you been? Your siblings?”

 

“Good, they’re good. Juaco graduated last year. Dani’s turning twelve next week”

 

“Twelve?! Wow, that’s insane” and God, she had missed how expressive he always was, how happy he always got with everything good that happened. Why did she break up with him again? Why did she do so much harm?

 

“It is” she waits a few seconds to see if he’ll say anything else before speaking “How have you been, Peter?”

 

“I’m…I’m better” he shrugs, and she’s happy about it. It’s been five years since Tony died, and despite how hard that could have been for all of them, time healed wounds. There would always be something empty in them, she would know, after those five years where she had lost her parents and him, but things got better, with time.

 

“Last I heard you were dating MJ” and she’s not sure why she says that, why she feels the need to know whether he’s still with her,

“Yeah, it…it fell through. We’re still friends, though” and she nods, because that’s what she should have done, she should have tried to be on his life still, tried to keep contact because he was worth it.

 

“That’s good” she says, because that’s the only thing she can think of.

 

“Yeah…”

 

She looks at her shoes, the heels she kind of hates but are a requirement for the job, just like the skirt because they were _formal_. At least she could wear trousers on the winter.

 

“Do you…do you want to go grab coffee? I’m sure Pepper can excuse you” Peter speaks up, giving her that smile she loved so much, innocent and wide, the one that makes his eyes shine and her heart beat faster.

 

“I’d love to”


End file.
